Well  Im able to write once again.   On very slow internet and with a keyboard I hate.  Damn cellphones and cheap old keyboards.  At any rate im posting again. 

        I had an odd dream, I belive to be something of a premponition, a glimspe into the future.  It invlolves several people I know, and some I dont know.  Let me intoroduce the characters that I do know.  Chris,Eli,Randall,Sierra,Travis, and some dude who I belives name is Jordie, or Jordan.  Those are the only characters I remember.  It starts out we are in our normal surrounding.  Me and Chris are in some sort of writing class.  Creative something.  Creative writing?  I don't know for sure.  At any rate, we are sitting there.  All seems normal, untill it happens.  Its like everything is engulfed in shadows.  Its stormming.  The scene jumps to us standing outside in the midst of all the chaos.  Were fighting these shadow looking things.  Its hard to desribe them.  Imagine Kingdom Hearts mixed with some FF and some Warcraft.  Its freaky.  The majority of us are fighting with swords, save eli who is fighting with some odd looking stick.  Out of no where this large shadowy thing comes.  It kindy looks like Balroc from LOTR.  It picks up Travis.  Theres not much we can do, were over-ran.  But Sierra breaks free and save to save him by plumiting a spear in its chest.  Which seems only to piss the thing off.  It throws Travis and picks her up.  It wraps her in its tail, and then is about to cut her throat.  Chris runs and lifts up his sword and strikes as hard as he can.  The beast roars, picking Chris up by the throat.I pick up my blade and run at it.  At that point the scene shifts again.  This time I can see myself, along with everyone.  Im in a third-person view.  This part shocked me.  Im laying there, looks like im dead.  Sierra ( who appears to be in clothing similar to Sora off of FF) kisses me.  Im assuming some sort of kiss of life.  At any rate I wake up like half-way through the kiss.  I look up at her and im thinking...Wtf?  Im looking into her eyes.  She looks back at me weird.  Then I notice something.  There is water in her eyes.  A tear drop falls upon my face.  Im blinking.  I get up.  Chris is laying in the corner.  It looks like were in the darkness.  The only reason I can see is because of a fire. We have some sort of camp set up.  At any rate Chris looks dead.  I walk over to him.  His not dead.   Instead he is laying there, huntched up.  He is crying.  Everyone looks sad.  I see this jordan/jordie dude *I shall call him..Jord* and he  is all tear'ed up.  I walk over to him.  He places his head on my shoulder then looks into my eyes. He says "There has to be a way.  There has to!  Everything gone.  There has to be a way back home, how could this happen.  What the hell even happened?  Huh?  WHAT HAPPENDED.  THERE HAS TO BE A WAY!" At that point he is pounding away on my chest and crying.  Its weird.  Then I look up and howl, releasing Kithro and going to my final state of being.  Its weird.  I cant explain it.. Ive left out a lot of things, but I dont think you need to know them.  Perhaps I shall put them in later.

    Well that is it for now.  I hate this keyboard im writing on and my net is slow because im connected through a celll phone at my brothers house.  Oh well..

 -Farewell,

    Kithro, the wolfs essence.

  "It only takes one man to begin a war that will kill thousands.  It only takes one man to stop a war.  All it takes is one man who has the courage to do what it is right in his heart"  - Kithro

     I have not posted in quiet some time now.  My computer has been rather, crashed.  Im currently on my brothers.  It will be some-time during this week before my Motherboard gets here.  It has to be shipped from Tailand. 

    No matter how bad of a mood im in, it seems that there is always someone there to cheer me up.  I could be past my breaking point and walk into school.  At that moment I see them and they will make some comment that always seems to cool me down.  As  a matter of fact, some time last week, I was past breaking.  I brough a knife that I had special sharpened the night before.  It was one of my assasin style knifes.  I walked in, I had the blade in my pocket with my hand attacthed to it.  I was ready to stirke at a moments notice.  Then Chris started talking and its like ice went through my mind.  I was calm.  Then Justin made some joke and it went on from there.  Amazing how I would forget a well-though of assasination plan over a little disturbance.

   I often wonder now how I became to be what I am.  I look back into my past and see now that I am different.  No longer am I bloodthirsty, or at least it is to a controlable point now.  I can see more clear into the future, as well as my past.  I know now that the deeds I have done are wrong, and I wonder if God could ever forgive me for what I have done.  I feel emtpy now, likes a ballon without any air inside.  Flat, no shape, no purpose other then taking up space.  I know it is said by even the Bible itself, the supposibly holy book, that God will forgive and even forget all a mans sins if only he confesses.  But I wonder, can he?  After all I have done to God's own creations.  I do not disbelive his exsitance, but I rather disbelive that he is so forgiving and merciful.

     Now more then ever I push my training.  Kithro is poping out more and more each day.  He even coxed me into shaving my hand.  He said it would only get in the way of training by bulking me down.  And so I shaved it.  Every day I look and feel more like Kithro.  The old Kithro, the kithro I knew before I became plain Tommy.  I no longer shall hide in the Shadows.

   I brought a sword home from my brothers.  Yes, thats right.  Im picking up a sword again.   I swore on that day I would never pick up another blade.  But I suppose I am no longer the person who use to hold that blade.  No more innocent blood shall be shed by the hands at my blade.  No longer shall I be the darkness that I was then.  I have stepped into the light, and now I am becomming that light. 

     When I picked the blade up it seemed so heavy.  Like to Frodo with the ring,  it was not because it accualyed weighed a large amount.  It have a heavy toll on my heart.  My soul almost shattered when I picked it up.  I guess now I can put the past behind me and rest at ease.

   I am training my mind to its maximum.  I meditate for at least an hour a day now, and up to five.  My new path will lead my to becoming cleansed and possible repennting some of old deeds off. 

    My new path is that of a Jedi Knight.  The real version of one, not Hollywood.  The idea of the Jedi was enforced long before Starwars came to be.  It was just made famous by starwars.  No, the jedi do not carry lightsabers, though most are preficeint with the art of the sword. 

     The path of the jedi is to peace the mind.  To follow a strict code of honor and laws.  To be at peace, not to be with peace.  I am begining to understand the force.  Yet the force is real.  As real as chi.  It is similar to chi, possibly even chi in a hidden form.  The force tells me many things.  It calms my raging spirit and helps me deal with anger and hate.  It does more then that, but boasting and expression of power are not part of the jedi way.

   My programing life picks up even more now.  I have several books on my favorite language, c++.  Like reading a book, I have begin to dive into the code.  I no longer see functions, I see the program. 

    I have began the project for a new game.  Though however, untill its finished, no one will know what it is about.  I am tired of people taking my ideas and using them as there own. 

     Well, for now I must go.  Know that for the next few days untill my motherboard gets here I may not be posting at all.  When my computer gets back into functioning order, I will begin to post daily, or at least ever other day, as I did before.

   Farewell,

         Kithro, the wolfs spirit.